Kundalini awakening: The Painful Truth

kundalini eye

That crazy Kundalini energy. A primal inner heat that rises up to bring awareness and energy to our whole being that starts at our base chakra. Literally speaking, Kundalini energy is the fire under your ass that you need to go get what you want out of life.

My original intention when I began a meditation practice was to be more peaceful, healthier, happier and maybe someone would take pretty artistic pictures of me doing yoga on mountains. And mind, you for a while that’s exactly what happened. Little did I know that as I dug a little deeper into the ancient practice that everything would become extremely uncomfortable.

I had been living my life a certain way for a while. Mainly as a college drop out bartending and waiting tables. I was making full time money working part time hours, living alone in an apartment close to where my parents lived. I was comfortable and safe, mildly unfulfilled but not enough to make any changes. After a couple of months reconnecting with myself through meditation feeling mildly unfulfilled was like the equivalent of torture. Not being 100% authentic to my truth had turned me into an insubordinate employee at work. I used to believe that the best way to stay afloat was not to make waves, but with this powerful shift within me I became a storm destroying everything in my own life to make room for something else. I’m still on the path to figure out what this something else is, but I knew that life as it was had to be over.

I’m still floundering a long my path and the destruction I unleashed is still taking a toll. But in the past year I’ve moved to a new city, married my true love, been given many detours in the form of health issues and rejections to opportunities I thought I wanted but I’m the most powerful I’ve ever been.

I’ve never been LESS content than when I first awakened my kundalini, and there’s still no end in sight to my wandering. Yet something’s different. Since awakening my kundalini I’ve felt like an actual participant in my own life. I am able to more quickly process lessons and blessing that I gather a long the road and use them to improve myself and help others. I have made friends with all aspects of my being, the dark and the light. That’s what kundalini energy does to you.

The spiritual awakening journey is not about finding the pleasant escape we call nirvana, it’s about being awake and present on your journey, with all your triumphs and short comings, and moving in the direction that your inner fire leads you.

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Winter Loneliness: The Healing Power of Solitude

winter lonliness

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Depending on where you find yourself living these days, January can be a cold lonely month. When the snow is piling up to high to leave the house and you can’t explore the world around you, we’re forced to live with ourselves. For many this can lead to extreme depression and in some cases suicide.

What if we could use this darkness as a powerful tool though? Or even better, make friends with it? We only have a few choices in the matter really. We can either sit in the corner cowering in fear as our demons taunt us, or we can start the introspective conversation and heal ourselves. Here’s a couple of ways to confront and befriend our shadows.

  1. One of my favorite techniques is to personify the negative emotion. Ask questions like “where did you come from?” or “what are you trying to teach me?” If you can quiet your thoughts even for a little bit, you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can get an answer. Having compassion for this darkness can help us love ourselves on a deeper level and develop a more loving relationship with our bad days.
  2. I may be biased as a writer, but Journaling is always a fierce weapon when it comes to understanding and changing our thought patterns. As these negative thoughts come in, write them down as they are, without judgement. Once you feel like you’re at a stopping point and read them, decide whether they come from something you can fix or something from your passed that hurt you. More often than not the second option is the case, in which we should honor and reflect the validity of this pain, but understand that this is a different version of ourselves that we’ve grown from.
  3. Another great writing technique if we’re at the point where we’re ready to move on, that I learned at the very beginning of my spiritual journey from a fantastic blog called, High Existence  , is writing down your negative or damaging belief and burning or burying it. You can create symbolism in your life representing the end of a phase that doesn’t serve you so you can welcome one that does.

It can be scary being and feeling alone whether you’re facing a struggle or not, but you have the choice within you to transform this energy into whatever you need, always.

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Oracle card of the week 12/17/17

You are a creative being with a story to tell. Now more than ever, the world needs to hear what you have to say. Your message may not always come in sweetly, but tough love will get you further than silence. Whatever you need to express, express it through written word.

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Oracle card of the week 12/12/17

As to be expected while mercury is in retrograde, you may find that lately technology hasn’t been your friend. Your devices may be glitchy or completely falling apart. As with anything in life there is a positive purpose and a lesson to learn. Take this time to find your inner silence, and go back to a simpler way of being until everything comes back on. When we can’t find a WiFi connection, it’s often the divine trying to connect us to something greater.

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The labor of love, how to never lose the spark

We all have an idea of love. The fantasy of seeing them from across the crowded room, locking eyes being pulled to them like a magnet and floating softly towards each other by some kind of gentle fire. We imagine candle lit dinners, laughing while holding hands on the beach, dancing our first dance as husband and wife, and all sorts of beautiful moments with violins, soft guitars and birds chirping in the background. Eventually we face the real music though.

Laundry and dishes are piling up, we get asked to work on Christmas, that dreamy beach getaway costs too much money and we don’t have enough vacation time to spring for it. If you have children there are diapers to change, alarm clocks being slept through when the school bus is honking, and not a single thank you in the mix.

It can be easy to lose the romantic magic in the midst of all this reality, but like anything in life a bit of consistent effort goes a long way. Here’s a few easy tips to create magic in your everyday life.

1. Take care of yourself and your health: it’s easy to put your needs a side when everyone needs something from you, but having the strength to set boundaries will help everyone involved more than you stretching yourself thin. Managing your physical and emotional health will only make your efforts more effective, and your attractiveness will be unparalleled for tip 2.

2. Make sex night a crucial part of date night: Even if you can only manage one night a week, sex will keep you connected, and will boost your self esteem as individuals.

3. Remember important dates: Your first date, your birthdays, anniversaries all hold powerful energy for you as a couple. If you continue some kind of celebration ritual year after year you reinforce that power of your relationship.

4. Communicate effectively: This might be the most important tip in this article. You will disagree, and you should be honest about your needs not being met, but the wording, timing and tone of voice you use can make an improvement or an argument. Any time you need to make a suggestion bring up something positive to open the conversation and soften the blow. For example, instead of scenario A…”I told you to get 2% milk not whole milk! You never listen to me!” Try scenario B…”thank you so much for getting groceries, I’m not sure if I specified but next time could you grab 2% Instead of whole milk?” Avoiding blame and assumptions and still showing appreciation for your SO. Try to avoid these conversations immediately after they walk in the door as well.

The labor of love is just that, labor. But it can be a lot of fun with a little consistent effort.

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Oracle card of the week 12/3/17

You are the best possible guru for yourself this coming week. As mercury goes retro grade you won’t be able to trust your usual sources as you used to. Instead find your answers in the quiet of your own higher mind.

You may also find yourself being requested to spread yourself thin by people that don’t appreciate your generosity. Don’t be swayed by others agendas. Focus on yourself and your best interest this week and you’ll naturally be helpful to others too. Be a leader and your own guru!

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Oracle card of the week 11/26

It’s time for a holiday cleansing. You’ve been sucked into the darkness of the egos around you and pulled into unnecessary conflict. Why are we all so addicted to chaos and negativity? Why does is seem easier to remain in unhealthy patterns of gossip, negative self talk, and other destructive behaviors than to be at peace?

This week we can all benefit from journaling in solitude. Putting our thoughts on paper will help us call ourselves out on what we’ve been surrounding ourselves with and the alone time will give us the bravery and health to let it go. The first person place or thing that comes to mind is what we need to move on from. Put value in yourself and your inner peace this week by detaching from drama and mindfully writing.

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Oracle card of the week 11/19/17

How perfect as we begin a change in seasons. Your body may be showing signs of over exertion. Whether you’ve been flexing your physical, mental or emotional muscles too hard you’ll tend to find the signs of distress run over into all aspects of your being. Don’t slow down towards your goals, just adjust the pace to a consistent one and give yourself a little extra self care. The universe is always operating in a “give” and “take” rhythm. We see this in our breathing, and whether we’re awakened to it or not, in the patterns of our luck and fortune. The energetic exchange demands an even pace and we suffer when we’re giving too much or taking too much. Practice mindfulness and allow everything to flow at a steady pace this week.

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The Paradox of Ambition

3CD7B253-310D-4EEB-B3C2-2C9865DD6358Today is such an incredible day. I woke up when my eyes opened naturally, I made my coffee in a pour over with extra love, I gave myself reiki, I pet my cat, listened to some soft meditation music, I played around with an adult coloring book and didn’t worry if I stayed inside the lines. As I write this I’m still in my bathrobe, my house is a mess as well as my hair and I haven’t even showered or brushed my teeth. Today has been about nothing but soothing myself and following the path of least resistance.

If you haven’t noticed, It’s been a couple of weeks since I have written a blog article other than the oracle card of the week. Don’t get me wrong, writing about this human experience from the perspective of an awakened spiritual being brings me such joy and once I can sit down with an open laptop and get my fingers to the key board the words flow and I get lost in the enjoyment of it, but for some reason the past couple of weeks I couldn’t push myself to sit down and make it happen. Any time my reminder went off to write or doing something productive towards my upcoming book or this blog my mind froze. So why is it that on days like today when I’ve been by most people’s standards a little lazy, selfish and unproductive am I unstoppably inspired to write? I finally understand.

When you are a creative being, the “work” your doing cannot be jarred up through self help books pushing you to set a timer and write until it beeps. Your productivity as a creative comes when you ease into your being. The concept of working your ass off to create is counter productive. You’re not digging for gems, you’re holding the bucket so they can fall in and expressing gratitude for every gift of inspiration.

There is no success formula that will cover everyone’s goals and it’s time we stopped looking for answers outside of ourselves. Just be, and you’ll find your own formula.

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Oracle card of the week 11/13/2017

You have a story to tell, and the universe wants you to tell it this week. Play around with the seeds blossoming into visions. Whether you write, paint, sculpt, make jewelry or whatever your medium may be the time is now to explore. Don’t create with a need to show off and be admired, let the canvas be the vessel you pour your shadow onto. Art is a fantastic way to embrace our shadow and heal wounds before they fester or become hurtful to others. Don’t hold back with your masterpiece this week!

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