Kundalini awakening: The Painful Truth

kundalini eye

That crazy Kundalini energy. A primal inner heat that rises up to bring awareness and energy to our whole being that starts at our base chakra. Literally speaking, Kundalini energy is the fire under your ass that you need to go get what you want out of life.

My original intention when I began a meditation practice was to be more peaceful, healthier, happier and maybe someone would take pretty artistic pictures of me doing yoga on mountains. And mind, you for a while that’s exactly what happened. Little did I know that as I dug a little deeper into the ancient practice that everything would become extremely uncomfortable.

I had been living my life a certain way for a while. Mainly as a college drop out bartending and waiting tables. I was making full time money working part time hours, living alone in an apartment close to where my parents lived. I was comfortable and safe, mildly unfulfilled but not enough to make any changes. After a couple of months reconnecting with myself through meditation feeling mildly unfulfilled was like the equivalent of torture. Not being 100% authentic to my truth had turned me into an insubordinate employee at work. I used to believe that the best way to stay afloat was not to make waves, but with this powerful shift within me I became a storm destroying everything in my own life to make room for something else. I’m still on the path to figure out what this something else is, but I knew that life as it was had to be over.

I’m still floundering a long my path and the destruction I unleashed is still taking a toll. But in the past year I’ve moved to a new city, married my true love, been given many detours in the form of health issues and rejections to opportunities I thought I wanted but I’m the most powerful I’ve ever been.

I’ve never been LESS content than when I first awakened my kundalini, and there’s still no end in sight to my wandering. Yet something’s different. Since awakening my kundalini I’ve felt like an actual participant in my own life. I am able to more quickly process lessons and blessing that I gather a long the road and use them to improve myself and help others. I have made friends with all aspects of my being, the dark and the light. That’s what kundalini energy does to you.

The spiritual awakening journey is not about finding the pleasant escape we call nirvana, it’s about being awake and present on your journey, with all your triumphs and short comings, and moving in the direction that your inner fire leads you.

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