When I began my spiritual journey, my goal was peace. I wanted to feel the perceived joy of enlightenment, knowing myself, connecting with my surroundings effortlessly and with unconditional love. I hoped that by becoming more loving of myself that I would naturally be more loved by others. Little did I know that my new found confidence would be the source of conflict between the people I’d known and loved my whole life.
My self love made me appear inconsiderate, preachy and self absorbed. I found myself arguing senselessly with my friends and family begging them speak about what was going well instead of listening to them complain about things that I didn’t really feel were problems. I eventually created such a rift between my loved ones that I decided to stop all my spiritual routines. Unfortunately at this point the people that I’d pushed away were gone and I couldn’t bring them back into my life.
I chose to change my approach. I stopped talking about what I was learning and doing and started to put it into action steps.
- I kept a note book: Not all of our ideas are meant for the world to know about the minute they pop into our heads. Having a writers notebook has allowed me to more fully develop my thoughts and feelings before I share them.
- I took a social media break: Comparing my Journey to others doesn’t do me any good. Likewise posting all my triumphs doesn’t make them any grander just because they get the validation of likes and comments.
- I learned to enjoy my own company: Furthering my meditation practice was easy without friends or family members to distract me. The love for myself became more pure without the need to let others know it existed.
It’s been a lonely journey where I’ve been forced to eliminate long term relationships. But in the process I’ve connected deeper to myself and formed effortless bonds with the right people, places, and circumstances. Never dim your light because others can’t handle the brightness.