What True Love isn’t

A little less than 3 years ago I was lucky enough to find my soul mate. Not without Prior struggle, loneliness and heart break as many are all too familiar with. This particular holiday tends to enhance whatever emotional state you’re in regarding love and relationships and prevent us from understanding what we’re really seeking. I felt it was necessary to highlight some wrong moves I’ve made in my search for true love to help the world find the truth. When we love we improve the world, and we have to know what we’re looking for.

1. True love is not your heart pounding, sweaty palms, waiting in fearful anticipation for a text message response. True love is a peaceful knowing that your wandering is complete.
2. True love is not devoid of labels. While it’s divine to understand that true love and monogamy can survive without the “boyfriend-girlfriend title” or a “piece of paper”. True love doesn’t avoid these man made categories to prove a point to the world. True love is whatever helps you and your partner grow together.
3. True love doesn’t have a facebook, instagram or any other social media platform to seek validation of its worth. My fiance’ and I experience the strongest love when we leave our phones in the car and go for a hike. It doesn’t matter if others think we’re in love, we just are.
4. True love isn’t always getting along. True love is removing the mask of how we feel we’re supposed to act to be liked. True love is crying over spilled milk, true love is laying it all on the table because you know you and your partner are in this to win it and you’ve both got to fight to stay in the game.
5. True love is not jealous. Desperately trying to make sure your partner stays faithful is based on an assumption that you’re not worth the loyalty. True love is knowing without a doubt that you are loved and cherished no matter how short that other girl’s skirt is.
6. True love does not harm. You will get angry and say things you don’t mean in the heat of the moment. You will never lay a hand on someone, or speak to them in a way that insults who they are as a human being. These are fear based actions that come out when we feel like we’re under attack. On the other side, allowing these fear based actions is also not true love.

True love comes from a point of inner peace. True love is laughing, crying, celebrating and mourning real life situations. True love is the feeling of being home after a long journey. Look for the person that makes you feel calm, not nervous. Look for the person that makes you want to go deeper into your pursuit of your dreams. Look for the person that makes you happy just by being happy. Fear is questioning, Love is knowing.